Nick - I have issues

[Demreb]

Ok, so I don't think it's a huge surprise that I am a slow study, slow on the uptake as it were.

But I just noticed Nick's statement under his name on these posts "McFadden Fieldhouse - a Flannel-free zone".

Nick - this hurts me to the quick. I thought we were buds, even brethren. I thought we had planned to sup over catfish. I've endorsed the lovely and talented Queen Tartan to join our "good ol' boys club" as one of the first women ever to witness the tedium of draft day by being our official CFCL Auctioneer.

"Flannel Free Zone" - I can't help but assume you are referring to the hapless Rebels. Are you saying my boys are not welcome as they continue on their Mid-America road trip to compete against the Tartans in McFadden Fieldhouse?

You know that you and your clan are more than welcome at Confederate Park. Don't I always have the visting owner's suite extra clean, with hot and cold running desert carts? You've gotten preferred parking, extra tickets to the games for the cousins you don't want to talk about from the deep south.

And this year, as an further evidence to our bond, I have put together a team that virtually assures you of no worse than 11th place.

I'm hurt Nicolai, crushed really.

Rich Bentel
Despondent owner of Dem Rebels

[Nick's Picts (archived)]

;D

I was wondering if you'd ever see that...

Congratulations, Rich, you've become our designated rivals. Way back in the day when I was growing up I lived in a state with one of the most consistent NCAA football programs in the country. We bordered a state with one of the worst programs. One year they finally decided to shake up their whole atheletics program. They had no rivalry in football and no hopes of being competitve for a long time--which is sort of conducive to creating a rivalry. Thus they had the brilliant idea of designating our team as their rival. It was a great way to give their team something to shoot for every year and to get the fans rabidly interested in a nearly dormant program. After all, nothing brings folks together better than facing a dreaded enemy.

Since we were their 'rival' (news to us) they would gear their entire season toward beating our team. For years we would chuckle at their nutty insistance that we shared a rivalry when, in fact, we kicked their arses every season. That was, until the year they beat us. Since then they've been a competitive football program and our state joined in this fictional rivalry so that now they have succeeded in supplanted our traditional rival--sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, please don't take it the wrong way, Rich. We're just a lowly franchise trying (unsuccessfully it seems) to pull ourselves out of the gutter. For what it's worth, Dem Rebels are our [designated for now] arch rival. Our entire season is make or break depending on how we fare against the flannel-clad nine from Confederate Park.

So bring it on, catfish eaters! You'll be quite shocked at the special promotions we will have running at McHansen Fieldhouse for our upcoming series against Dem Rebels.

And, no, we are definitely giving you your money's worth in that race to the bottom.

Nick Hansen
Designated Rival

[Demreb]

Actually I noticed the "Flannel Free Zone" a while back, but didn't have time to respond at the time. Then on subsequent visits to the Forums I would notice it there, mocking me. Finally a thimble sized amount of wit welled up in me and forced me to respond.

I enjoyed your story of the football teams. However I think you shot too low. I am extremely honored to be named the "Designated Rival" of the Picts (the first thing the Rebels have achieved in many moons). But if you wanted a real benchmark, I would suggest the Copperfields. First of all they are the mark we all look towards and finishing ahead of them is actually an accomplishment.

I'm not sure you wouldn't be better in their hands - but I'll take your designation, don't get me wrong (notice the West Wing reference?).

Unless . . WAIT! Is this double secret reverse psychology you are using to inspire me to wake my dead-from-the-neck-up front office to actually put together a competitive team? Ooh, very tricky Oh Fezzy One.

Nick, I accept. I am honored to be your designated rival even if I do think you looked at the remaining eleven teams and picked the one you knew you could beat.

The sword has been laid and I (like my storied predecessor Bobby E. Lee) will pick it up (this time with better results, hopefully).

[Nick's Picts (archived)]

Well played, Sir. Exceptional volley. So humble, so understated.

Attempting to disarm the righteous burning Pictii desire to pummel Dem Rebels with a self-effacing acceptance of this rivalry will only drive our frenzied fans higher! We, too, have read Tzu and will not be caught unaware. Much has been written of the steeley reserve of the denizens of Confederate Park and their bend-but-don't-break strategies. By pretending to be so easily defeated you have only cemented our belief in your strength as a rival.

Oh, and the opening game of our upcoming series is a combination Boy Band Inferno + Eveready Battery Night. I expect the crowd to be quite, erm, electric. Do not worry about the bullseye painted on mound in the visiting bullpen, it concerns you not.

[Demreb]

Opening Night is Boy Band and Batteries? Sweet! Any chance of getting O-Town or Backstreet Boys to perform? The lads are big favorites in the back offices of the Rebel management.

If you could lay an extra pack of batteries in the Visiting Owner Suite, that would be great. I'll say it's for my IPod so this thread doesn't go blue.

I'm not familiar with the Tzu you refer, is he the closer in Colorado?

And a bullseye on the mound in the bullpen? I swear I can't wait to go to The Fieldhouse. The place sounds like a hoot.

[Demreb]

Nick,

How in the world do you control the ads on this post? As I was exiting this thread I saw all these ads at the top for Tartan clothes. Then I log back in and there are ads for batteries.

I swear it's not the moonshine. You are messin' with my mind dude.