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Post by Copperfields on Jan 26, 2005 11:49:39 GMT -5
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Post by MGrage on Jan 26, 2005 14:59:16 GMT -5
Hmm, I think I have another very worthy candidate, but you neglected to list an other option in your poll Dave. I think this guy is a spot on match.  I swear if he would have had glasses, I would have thought he was your twin Steve .... Mahalo Matt PS. Hmmm, maybe I should have asked you about the availability of Jim Edmonds before sending this. |
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Post by stones on Jan 27, 2005 0:00:56 GMT -5
I would have to say after careful analysis that Steve reminds me most of Brad Pitt. The slight but manly "built for speed" body, chiseled chest, abs of steel and "welcome to the gun show" triceps coupled with the devilishly handsome good looks, hung like a horse, "I hang with hot chicks" smile are an absolute shoe-in match in my book.
But as I ponder this question, I am forced to consider other more cerebral comparisons.
Andy Reid is a close runner up, but no cigar. Steve likes Cigars, no not those cheap Swisher Sweets, but seriously expensive cigars. When comparing SO to AR, the most important considerations is AR wears his pants far too high. He actually has them hiked up to his waste, so that one can actually see that he has a fanny. Not that I usually look at another man’s fanny, mind you! I’m just say’n. “But” I digress. AR actually appears to have a butt on his backside! That doesn’t wash. Has anyone noticed that Steve has no butt! I mean he has one, but his posterior is disproportionate to his anterior! You can hang a swing from that porch, but I suppose the same could be said for Coach Reid’s large front porch! The shape of his face is much more similar to Steve’s, but some essential facial qualities are missing. He clearly looks like he is sleeping well and has no issues with constipation. Steve on the other hand looks like he is constantly squeezing that bit of lunch from yesterday back after having slept for a few hours last night. Simply said, it’s a far more stressed look on SO than AR.
This brings us to Mike Holmgren, who clearly looks like he is under constant duress and lost sleep similar to Steve. But it isn’t the look of duress caused by the build-up of un-vented gas. He looks like he has a lot on his mind. It’s a more worried look. It’s a look that says he is always thinking, always planning, always calculating, and always looking for the edge! Clearly, these are not concepts that Steve is familiar with. Any own who disagrees with this should recall Steve’s demonstrated lack of auction day prowess. Steve on the other hand has the Homer Simpson look that says he is always trying to figure who just went in the auction and for how much, always looking for the nearest exit, always trying to remember to turn back his draft table placard when the next nomination is offered and always looking for the Rold Gold Pretzels that Eric took!
As for Craig Stadler (a.k.a Matt, the Edmonds deal is off the board, you bastard!), he is a fine looking man himself. He appears to be eating well and keeping himself physically fit. Hey, make no mistake, he is no Brad Pitt! But for a “full figure guy” he is looking mighty fashionable and for sure he has been “working out”. If we assume that Bankers like golf, can we then conclude that Golfers like Bankers? Again, just asking! OK, I hope Steve doesn’t read this, but both of The Walrus’s (not the one Matt posted) eyes go in to same direction, an essential quality for athletic endeavors! Steve couldn’t grow a goatee if he joined the Chin Hair Club for men. Mr. Stadler is a real swinger! Chicks also dig the long ball. He like many golfers lives by the phrase “Drive for show, putt for dough”. From the looks of things Steve believes in the phrase, “Drive for dough(nuts), and eat them slow”!
And lastly, Martin Moll. About 75 pounds ago Steve might have passed as his stunt double. But then Martin played a gay guy on Rosanne and that made Steve eat his way out of the part. Not that Steve wanted a piece of Rosanne mind you! Can you even imagine that! Stunt doubles never get the credit they deserve! Its a dirty job, but someone has got to do it!
In the end, it appears that Bernie Brewer may in fact be the most likely winner. A nice looking well trimmed mustache and a Brewers Cap! How could it be anyone else?
The Walrus, which I find personally offensive and I would certainly understand if Steve never trades with Matt again, is a worthy comparison to be sure. The only significant comments I have on that are that the teeth are in much better shape than Steve's and the Mustache looks like it was trimmed by a professional. I am not sure if Steve's has ever been trimmed! Put a baseball cap on the Walrus, and we might have a winner.
I have always wondered what it is with fat guys and facial hair. They all have it!
A topic for another day, think about it!
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Post by Copperfields on Jan 27, 2005 9:11:38 GMT -5
Wow. I know it's early and that 2005 is just getting underway, but the above by Steve has an outstanding shot at being: [glow=red,2,300]Post of the Year[/glow] Oustanding Steve - very well done! Who'd have thunk that you were so intimate with the intestinal workings of NFL coaches! David |
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Post by Nick's Picts (archived) on Jan 27, 2005 10:07:25 GMT -5
While I really wanted to drop a vote for both Pitt and Stadler, I had to compromise given we only get one. I think Bernie adequately fills the middle ground here. The strong, northern stock comes across in both their physiques. The untamed facial hair puts one in mind of free-wheeling Harley-types. The broad smile they both share seems to indicate they're just as happy to eat you alive as they are to enjoy a fine beer-boiled brat. In fact, like Bernie, Steve has a jovial ferocity that sneaks up on you, much like the Stones. He'll play you along like some sort of year-round Santa but then strike like a cobra when he sees his opportunity. Sort of like the Brewers really. A nice team with a goofy radio personality who will leap for the juglar when they see their chance. It's just so hard to spot those chances north of the crease I guess... seriously though, great post, Steve  |
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Post by Demreb on Jan 27, 2005 10:40:23 GMT -5
Weighing in on the mess I started . . .
I vote for Andy Re . . .hold on. Steve! You have Ryan Freel! OK, back to my vote. Brad Pitt.
Personally I think Matt was way out of line and I don't blame you one bit for never trading with him ever, ever again. I've never liked the guy. Not when he was dying his hair in rememberance of 9/11, not when he went to New York to help, not when he posted the dozens of hilarious, inciteful posts (yours was much better, Steve). I could tell he was a bad seed from the very beginning.
I only hope that you and Jennifer Aniston can reconcile, Steve. I hate it when good marriages and beautiful people fall apart.
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Post by stones on Jan 27, 2005 11:37:17 GMT -5
Rich,
I am certain that with a little imagination on your part involving a trade that includes Milton Bradley, I can completely forgive you for starting this.
It was the eye comment that really hurt the most...oh, I'm sorry, I just remembered that I wrote that! My bad!
And who is this Matt that we keep referring to?
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Post by MGrage on Jan 27, 2005 15:46:34 GMT -5
 Well, I know I'm no Bernie Brewer, but I can cut a striking pose at times. Who am I? Why am I here? Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of men? These question are not for me to answer. All I'll say is that I'm an enigma wrapped up in a conundrum. Mahalo Matt PS. And yes, I was heading out of town for a while until the heat died down after I conundrumed an underaged fantasy baseball groupie. I was inundated with loyal fans after the World Premiere of Trading the Gator for months afterwards. It was both a blessing and a curse .... BTW, I swear she looked at least 16. |
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Post by Copperfields on Jan 27, 2005 16:55:53 GMT -5
I was heading out of town for a while until the heat died down after I conundrumed an underaged fantasy baseball groupie. LOL... "conundrumed" Don't tell me, the naughty word filter strikes again! |
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Post by MGrage on Jan 27, 2005 17:46:02 GMT -5
Nope, I'll just leave it to your imagination  |
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